A version of this post first appeared on ClarusMoney.com in January 2019, when Marie Kondo’s show had just debuted.
Perhaps you’ve discovered the charm of the new Netflix series, “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.”
The episodes of the show follow Marie Kondo as she walks families and couples through decluttering the KonMari way, which Kondo herself popularized in her runaway bestseller book from 2015, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
Like many readers, I tried the KonMari method several years ago. (In fact, my four-year-old Goodreads review–with my favorite quotes from the book–just a few days ago appeared in my Facebook memories).
My KonMari-ing was moderately successful, though I have definitely gotten out of the habit of putting clothing items vertically. Note to self: do a de-clutter purge this January and store clothes better.
The show is delightful to watch, especially the transformations of the different families, and Kondo herself is just lovely and dare I say adorable. Not just their homes, but their overall lives, seem much more peaceful and well-ordered, because they took the time to go through the often-challenging process of decluttering.
It occurred to me halfway through the second episode (probably my favorite so far-an empty nester couple goes through three generations of stuff) that “Tidying Up” is a lot like money coaching.
How? Five ways, though I’m sure there are a lot more.
1. It’s positive.
It’s a positive process. Marie Kondo herself is just so friendly and calm as she meets with the families, and “greets” the houses.
At one point she says excitedly, “I’m happy because I love to see a mess!”
It’s obvious that she doesn’t say that in a judgmental, “how could you possibly have accumulated so many shoes?” way. Rather, she’s saying it to show her eagerness to help people learn to sort through their possessions intelligently.
She knows she can help people, and that makes her happy.
She is positive with promoting change for the families. In the third episode, she counsels the mother to involve everyone in the de-cluttering and housework going forward so that her children will understand what to do and why.
Money coaching is, or at least should be, the same way. If you have a good money coach, you’re not going to feel judged. If you do, it’s probably not a good fit.
Money coaches love to see “messes,” or at least all the details of a person or family financial life, not to judge, but to be able to show the client ways to turn it around.
More than one client has told me something like, “You’re so positive. I thought you were going to judge me for this spending decision/debt/etc.” That’s not effective, at least to me, and I genuinely don’t feel “judgy” when talking them through their past, plans, and goals. I’ve made just as many money mistakes as my clients. We’ve all been there.
My coaching style is definitely on the positive, “you’ve got this,” side. The expression, “You’re doing well with your money, and you can do better” is all over my website and Facebook page. That is because I sincerely believe that.
2. It’s hard work, and it can seem to get worse before it gets better.
You’ll see the families in these episodes devote a lot of energy—emotional, physical, and otherwise– to declutter their homes. It’s an intensive process. It doesn’t show as much of the work of Marie Kondo and her team (to write her book, develop her method, and have the right tools to help people).
And while the homes can look okay but cluttery at the beginning, they look far worse after a week or two, before they gradually shape up.
It’s can seem the same way with money coaching. There’s a lot of prep work for both the coach and the client, and ongoing work for both in setting and (for the client) working on the goals. There can be fits and starts, but with a blueprint, genuine progress can happen.
It’s hard work, but it’s so worth it.
3. It’s not an overnight transformation.
In the episodes I watched, it was at least a month of effort for these families to go through all their possessions and go through the KonMari method overnight.
In the same way, money coaching will not transform a person’s finances overnight. It takes time to go figure out your financial picture, set some goals, and work through those with the inevitable successes and failures.
Persistence is the way to progress.
4. It’s personal.
One thing I love best about “Tidying Up” is that the families are not in “show homes” at the end. Yes, their homes are transformed.
But it’s still their furniture, their clothes, their stuff. It’s just that the home works better as a place that reflects their values and lifestyle.
It’s the same way with money coaching. What people spend money on is very personal.
There’s a saying that personal finance is much more “personal” than “finance,” and that’s one of my top approaches when I coach clients.
Everyone’s financial life is going to look different. What people spend money on or value is going to be different. And that’s okay.
A money coach can help you clarify what’s important to you and help you set up your financial life to reflect that.
5. It’s doable.
Some “before” homes make it seem almost impossible that the people will resolve their clutter issues. But, thanks to the time invested— and working through the KonMari method—it happens.
But to be honest, the families could have done this on their own.
They could have bought (or taken out of the library) Marie Kondo’s book, or her newer one, Spark Joy. (and did you see there’s a graphic novel version, The Life Changing Manga of Tidying Up? That is genius). A person could watch this show, look up some YouTube videos on how to do it, and do a reasonable job of de-cluttering.
But with the accountability of Marie Kondo and her method–and (not surprisingly) a film crew videotaping their progress, these families made great strides in a (relatively) short period of time to complete something that was bothering them and affecting daily life.
(side note: did you know you can become a certified KonMari consultant, or schedule with one to help tidy up your home?)
It’s the same with money coaching. First of all, it is doable.
And you can do it on your own. You can certainly work through your financial picture on your own. You can buy or borrow from the library some personal finance books, watch some YouTube videos, listen to some podcasts, and so forth. All those are great ideas, especially if you have an interest in money and being organized that way.
And you can work through the steps of basic personal finance using some good books and podcasts. If you need some recommendations, let me know, and perhaps I can do a video or write a post on some of my favorites.
But the trained help and expertise of a money coach can be invaluable in helping you see your situation realistically, identifying areas for change and growth, and providing accountability as you work your way through the plan.
And it involves no film crews, I promise.
What do you think? Have you seen the show? What is your favorite episode?
